Why, Why, Why?

Why don't you see me now?

Why did you lie?

Why can't you love me now?

Why deceive & destroy?

Why don't you care anymore?

Why no respect?

Why do you ignore me now?

Why have you gone deaf?

Why am I ugly to you?

Why am I thick?

Why won't you speak to me?

Why do I feel sick?

Why is everything I say stupid to you?

Why don't you answer?

Why do you disrespect me so?

Why, why, why?

Why do you upset me ?

Why destroy my life?

Why do you mislead me now?

Why, why, why?

Why am I concerned with you?

Why do I struggle?

Why do my words not reach your ears?

Why, why, why?

Why did I ever trust you?

Why when I knew?

Why did I open to you?

Why, why, why?

Why am I so obtuse?

Why do I get so used?

Why did I ever believe in you?

Why, why, why?

Why do I cry now?

Why the angry tears?

Why have you broken my heart?

WHY, WHY, WHY?

This Time of Year

I love doing this, at this time of year,

the sun beating down, the sky blue & clear.

Warmth on my back, bird song in my ear.

I love doing this, at this time of year.

I hate doing this, at this time of year,

the snow on the ground the freeze in the air.

The chill in my back, no bird song to cheer.

I hate doing this, at this time of year.

I love doing this, at this time of year,

the colours so bright, sunglasses are here,

A song in my heart, when roses appear.

I love doing this, at this time of year.

I hate doing this at this time of year,

waking in dark with no sun to cheer, 

rain lashing down, damp heavy in air.
I hate doing this at this time of year.

What do I hate at this time of year?
The quiet or solitude, no sound to hear?
Wood fires a blazing logs crackling, miss behaving?
Dogs snoring, oven baking, bread smell pervading.
I love all this at this time of year
being a hermit, lovely snuggly cheer.
  

Lies & Deceit

When your lying in bed,

listening to things in your head

lies & deceit, is all that you'll meet.

Listen & learn, all the things that you've said

The lies that you've spread.

Karma is listening, awaiting her errand,

she hears, your mouth has spoken,

be afraid, your reward shall be great.

Your rope has hung you.

Your heart has betrayed you.

Your evil has devoured you.

When you are willing to sow seeds of deceit, of decent,

the fruit you eat will be rotten,

fowl as the vitriol you spew forth, landing where it will.

No thought of the hearts of others!

Assassinator of characters,

sorry I am, blind you are.

Silly woman, don't you know?

Love would soften you, give you peace

leave you wanting others best,

Love, would save you!

Who Do We See?

You see, a naughty child.

I see a broken toddler, abandoned, unloved & rejected for something better.

You see, an attention seeker.

I see a lonely child, wanting cuddles, hugs, love & acceptance.

You see, a troublesome teen.

I see a rejected adolescent, not understanding their place in life, not knowing where to go, what to do. needing love.

A child searching for something, safety, security, love.

You see, a stroppy person.

I see a someone fighting rejection, fighting for survival, fighting for love.

You see, an angry person.

I see a devastated person who's soul has been betrayed & broken.

You see, a person who is controlling.

I see someone who is fighting to be listened to & heard.

You see, an emotional person.

I see a someone who gives love & feels the pain of others.

Who listens & wants the same.

You see the symptoms, I see the cause.

You see, you don't know me! 

A Beacon For All To See

A beacon of light seen from the throne room.

There I am dressed in Purple, alight with love for you,

your precious places of treasure opened to me, to us.

Hidden for so long, oppressed & damaged,

we can only imagine.

Your peaks & valleys lovely in their graciousness,

wondrous in our sight.

 Hidden from light the darkness was upon you.

Imprisoned, held back, your beloved suffering in their plight.

Struggling towards the light, trying to hold tight, hold true.

Fed lies by the liar of all time.

Distracted, dislocated, dismembered, disemboweled,

she had you in her grip.

Some see only your sadness, but we feel your joy.

Today you stand,

proud, cloaked in gold, set high on your standard,

your beauty up for all to see

In time you will heal, for now, recoup, count your blessings.

Your lovers are increasing, your preciousness a wonder in their sight.

They behold you, exalt you.

Your beauty is limitless, dressed in the colours of Gods palette,

they adorn you.

Your music is magical bird song, the sound of angels.

You will recover & grow, heal & develop.

Bulgaria, you are holy & blessed in his sight.

"Am I a Contradiction of Self" ?

Passive, yet assertive, happy yet sad.

Deep & serious, yet flirty & outgoing.

Can you put me in a box & tie me with string, I think not.

Can you label me & judge me, you don't know me!

A many faceted jewel in a setting of pure gold,

robed in purple silk with the crown of a princess.

Can you find my treasure, will you look, dig deep, explore my depths?

Will you gain my love deep as an ocean, honest as the dawn.

Not by pillage & plunder, do not run amok!

I am a rarity, uncommon in my preciousness,

I have value & worth.

Keep me rapt, enchanted,

Help me develop & bloom.

My contradictions will inspire you.

You will find me erotic,

will desire my sensuality,

and long for my carnal knowledge.

So seek me when you find me,

seek & find BLISS