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Saturday, 31 May 2014

Lost

Lost, lost and wandering
Lost, lonely and wandering aimlessly
Aimlessly wandering lost, wondering what to do
Lost joyless, no meaning.

Life lost lustre, eyes lost sparkle, heart lost it's beat
Lost, wandering lost, distant memory of joy
Distant life, distant love, distant meaning. destruction

Soul destroyed, demolished, fractured,
Knowledge brings hope to it's knees
Memories brings pain, sadness

Lost, lost and wandering

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Fathomless pit of Love

My lover had died, he's gone from me,
My lover has died yet he still walks free,
My lover has died and life is pain,
My lover has died yet his life remains.

How does love that runs so deep,
lose affection so we can not sleep,
How does love that consumes our soul,
get lost and die in one not all.

My souls has broken, in bit's it lies,
My souls is shattered, crippled, crushed, fragmentalised.
How will it ever repair, be shiny and whole,
when will the tears give way to joy in my soul.

The pain of death is the same world over,
but death comes in a legion of ways,
multitude death, the heart feels the same.

Oh when can I stop pretending, when will this end,
when will I believe what I tell myself, others what they want to hear.
When will the lies stop hurting, when will I be free,
when the world becomes still of me, or will you let it be.

To be so happy with a heart that sings, soul that dances,
feeling loved, free, wanted, needed.
This death tells my brain your useless, unlovable, with a joyless soul.
You are too ugly for love, no more happy soul, no dancing, laughing or singing for you.
Your defective, inadequate, found wanting, a failure of all.

To my God I cry, my creator, my saviour, he that I trust,
help me heal, put me back together, strong and true, whole and real.
Heal the deep cavern, fill the emptiness, let it be real,
Fill me with joy, to be happy and light,
bring me love, real, deep, whole and true.

Give me a lover that will fill me with trust,
bring me peace, make me feel beautiful.
Give me a lover who'll wipe away my tears, replace them with smiles,
bring a shine to my eyes, spring in my soul.

A love that lasts, goes deep, remains,
A fathomless pit of love




Saturday, 19 October 2013

Christmas

Giving gifts over spending,
working hard over eating,
having fun over drinking,
dressing up over doing.

Woolen socks, embroidered names,
sacks and pillows, excitement reigns.

Waking up stockings bulging,
bucks fizz bacon grilling

Laughing smilling, hugging kissing,
playing cuddling, singing twisting.

Twinkling  homes warm and comfy,
aromatic roasting, Mmm, mummy's tummy's rumbly,

Fairy wands, fairy wings, boots and boxes garlands and things

Mulled wine and confection, Nuts and raisins, celebrations.
Brussels nestling with chestnuts, pigs snuggled in their blankets
Turkey crowns proud & true, ducks crispy just for you,
roasties calling all to sit, Pudding plonking, argh that's it!

Presents glitzing under tree calling, calling just for meeeeeeeee
Family, children, friends and neighbours fellowships and coming together's,

Loving the day but remembering the why,
Jesus the name we call from the sky,
Thanking for birth amd salvation,
celebration of love Christ's gift to earth,
The real reason why we celebrate Christmas, round the hearth

Monday, 10 December 2012

He, Bohemian Man, (Coffee Break Short Story)



He sat staring into space, he just wasn't sure, couldn't settle his mind on anything lately. Nope, he just wasn't sure!
He decided to go and just see what would happen, what could be the harm?

Right, that sorted he could now relax back and soak up some some winter sun, warm through the glass.
He was a happy man, happy within himself, ordinary, in an unusual way. His style was bohemian, laid back, quiet, in a very colourful way. People thought of him as an introvert but actually he was an extrovert. He didn't advertise that fact, only people he was very comfortable with discovered that side of him. His last wife bought it out of him, she was a bohemian at heart and from a very staid person he blossomed. He loved her, still missed her, he was lonely.

Logging on later that day he found her. She was a little younger than him, well 30 yrs but what does that matter these days? It was quite good for him really as he likes to be in control, although that's another trait he will keep under wraps, for a while anyway.
She was attractive, slender with short blond hair and big blue eyes. She had been a worker all her life and had no children, he wondered about this. Wondered why she had never had kids, but assumed it was because she was career minded.

She was well travelled and loved Asia, just as he did, they had that in common at least. He thought she would like his home, who wouldn't? He lived in a large house with all the latest gadgets, a huge up to the minuet kitchen that any chef would love, let alone a woman, There a swimming pool that was both outside in the summer and inside in winter, thanks to a very clever mechanical glass enclosure.
Yes he was a catch, in the material sense, wasn't hard up in the finance stakes either. He loved life, loved living and only drank socially in moderation.
His children were grown, living with partners, had children and lives of their own. He saw them, loved spending time with them, but he was lonely.
He chatted on line with her for over an hour, made arrangements to meet later that day, then made himself some lunch. He was bored, bored and lonely on his own. He had everything he could ever wish for, except.....

The afternoon went slowly. Loneliness is a terrible feeling that engulfed his whole being, swimming in the pool on his own was great up to a point, so he swam  and swam till he exhausted himself, then he sat on the steps just enjoying the fact that he, HE, had a pool. He never got used to that, having......

The pool was what his wife had always dreamed of, she would have adored this, would have felt she was in heaven on earth. BBQ's in the evenings whilst relaxing over a glass of wine with friends.
Jessica, oh how he missed her, her laughter was infectious as was she. Jess would have spent every day in the pool, especially as now they could pay a housekeeper to look after the house and a gardener to look after the property. Although Jess loved cooking, it was her passion, she loved nothing more than to have people over for dinner, to cook them relaxed meals with filthy desserts, yes she would have been in Heaven in his kitchen, she never had a proper kitchen of her own! Still she laid on a good meal. Oh how he missed his wife, the last one.
He had many wives in the past but best keep that under wraps for the time being!

She was smiling, yes tonight she may take it to another level, he seemed shy and quieter than her normal conquests, it made a change. Normally they liked to be in control, but he seemed to like her to do all the talking. This suited her as she liked to hold the reigns of any relationship, without them realising off course.
She had a good teacher in her mother, the way she handled all the men that came into their lives. She had so many uncles she had lost count from the age of three!
She laughed out loud at these thoughts, oh men, they were so easy, led by their human desires, all thought going out of the window once they had tasted what she offered and she was a good actress so they always thought they were special.
She would dress very carefully tonight. He didn't stand a chance.
Even mum had not hit the jackpot like she had! This one was rich, rich AND lonely, a powerful combination and one she was sure would be easily led down the aisle!!!
Oh and down the aisle she intended to go with him, once she had made up her mind they never stood a chance, so easily led were the lonely hearted men. She had many a husband in the past, but best keep that little bit of information under wraps for the time being, didn't want to frighten him off.........

The night air was scented with the flowers from the aromatic tree's it was like a wonderfully exotic perfume. The night was balmy with a lovely warm breeze and the air felt light, not as heavy as the last week or so, just perfect for a romantic dinner overlooking the harbour.
The lights twinkled, in the distance was the odd flash from the lighthouse. The smells wafting over them were heavenly.
He still couldn't get used to the fact that he had all this in his reach, life was so much better with money. OK so it couldn't buy you true love or health but it sure could make you happy and very ,very secure!
It was great being able to have whatever he wanted as he really didn't "need" for anything now and he loved to help others, so, when he was on to the next great bit of "must have technology" he passed on the precursor, which sometimes was just a couple of months old. He never sold them on as why would he, he gave to people who could never afford to buy these things, it gave him a kick.
Jess would have loved him for it, she would have done just the same, probably more.
He loved to post gifts of money to unsuspecting friends and people in his community, just to help out with a bill, a debt or just as a treat. Anonymously off course. He loved the treats most of all.
He was very generous, little could anyone guess.
All these thoughts were running through his mind, bringing a smile to his lips, making her think he was immersed in what she was saying. All the time her mouth did not stop moving.

They had a wonderfully expensive meal, she was going to get used to this very quickly, she hated cooking, in fact she couldn't boil an egg, let alone cook a meal. He didn't know that yet, time enough for that little revelation.
She was already planning where she would have the wedding, and the very, very long honeymoon, chasing the sun on a Caribbean cruise in a fully staffed private yacht, swimming in little coves, oh it would be so wonderful. Now all she had to do was make him feel like he couldn't live without her.
She placed her hand on his knee and gently rubbed it, just for a moment.
She picked at her food, couldn't afford to gain weight, her figure was perfect but the price for this was feeling starved all the time. She wished she could eat and expel like some of her gold digging friends but she hated the throwing up process, was phobic, so she suffered in a different way.

He hated that she never ate properly, she thought he didn't notice but he and Jess used to laugh at the scrawny women who pushed their food around hiding it under lettuce. They became experts at watching them. Jess loved food as did he.

He supposed he was going to invite her back tonight, it was a little scary for him and he really wasn't into her now, this meal was sort of putting him off. Now that voluptuous waitress was gorgeous and had given him a funny feeling in his tummy. She sachayed in a tight calf length shift dress, which whispered a promise of sexual freedom, love and intimacy. He liked that, loved to watch her walk, surreptitiously off course. She caught him looking and smiled a secret smile eyes twinkling. She had long very dark hair, minimal make up and lips of lusciousness.
He broke into her constant twittering, made an excuse and went to the rest room, passing miss luscious, she smiled.
He made a decision and after apologising for being forward, asked miss luscious if she would like to go for a drink after work, or the next day. Luscious lady said she would love to after work. So he made arrangements then went back to her. She was making eye contact with some guy at another table, crossing and uncrossing her legs giving the guy a little flash of magic while stroking her hair unconsciously.  He thought what a pair of numpty's they were, not suited at all. He explained he was feeling unwell, would she mind if they left.

They made their way back to his house, she marvelled at its large exterior. It was in the most amazing gardens, in the midst of the countryside. She loved the huge expanse of it but thought they would have to move as she did not like the countryside. She was a townie, born and bred! She nearly had kittens when she saw the size of the pool with the waterfall at one end and a jacuzzi at the other, wow this was money. Inside she was screaming with joy outwardly she cooed in a sexy, she thought, way.

She asked what was he doing behind the tree's? There was a line of fragrant tree's a bit like a wooded area behind the pool. He told her all about the quiet spiritual gardens he was building, promising to show her, after he had shown her around the house. He was sure she would love it as it was a very peaceful place with statues of Buddha, water falls flowing over rocks, trickling brooks, fragrant flowers and thickly soft large beds with canopies of lace. She couldn't wait as the promise was full of sexual suggestion, she was excited, felt the moistness between her thigh's. She was ready and would surely entrap him with her sexuality. She loved sex, the hornier the better, lots of energy, lots of deep down dirty moves, lots and lots of oral (on her off course) and tons of kissing. She really hoped he was good and dirty as she would prefer not to go out trawling for men on the side!

He was building up in excitement, tense, getting hot. His senses heightened, even his skin felt like if she touched him he would orgasm.
What a turn around this evening had been, his future path changed, thankfully, and he was going to indulge in his secret passion. He was excited beyond belief and hornier than hell!

The house was silent, with soft romantic lighting, she could not help but be impressed.
His taste in furnishing was immaculate, she wondered if he was a closet queen, or maybe he was sexually ignited by both women and men? No she decided she could tell but to have this good a taste in furnishings???
The over all sense was calm, sensual, warm. The bedroom was amazing with soft greens, creams and golds, a huge bed and enormous walk in closet dressing room.
There were bedrooms and bathrooms galore a huge Orangery with soft comfy sofas Orange and Lemon  tree's, ferns and palms. It was a beautiful house, she was going to be very happy here until they moved, she would have to start looking for the right property right away!

He took her out to the spiritual garden, a bottle of champagne and two glasses in hand. Teddy Pendergrass, "Come go with me", was playing in the background Slow, sexy, soulful and very apt.
He put the champagne and glasses by the bed. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and swayed to the music.

She felt a rush of sexual pleasure throughout her body starting from her tummy, darting to her brain and down into her legs making her weak. She collapsed into his body as his hands caressed her from behind. She couldn't see him, just feel, oh it was soooo good, sexy and very, very hot. She wasn't sure if she could stop herself ripping his clothes off, throwing him on the floor and jumping on him.

His hands felt like fire slowly moving over her body. One reached her nipple while the other found her clitoris, she nearly exploded on the spot.
Teddy was singing and he had to admit he was really getting into this. He was so aroused, well it had been a very long time. His erection was huge and he needed to release himself from the confines of his clothing, so with one hand he gently bent her over while he unzipped himself.

She had on no underwear, well she had no need for it and it made men hot, they all watched her so why not give them something to look at, subtly off course. She was so glad there was nothing in the way. She was close to orgasm, and knew it would just be the first of the night, wow she didn't plan on it being this good! She parted her legs and immediately his fingers were given more room to explore bringing her to a climax of body shuddering proportions, she collapsed over onto the bed the throbbing of the orgasm and feeling of ecstasy making her weak.

He was sooooo tempted to just slam into her, she had on no knickers and he could see her clearly, her bottom, as she collapsed onto the bed, was raised toward him, but he was determined to savour the moment, it had been so very long. Just then Teddy started to sing "I miss you" and his thoughts wandered to his wife.
They had GREAT sex, nothing had ever compared to what they had between them. They always said it was love, their chemistry was so compatible that it was amazing.
Jess!!!!! How he loved her, how she loved him licking her. Jess always said how amazing he was, no one had been anywhere near as good as he. He remembered her smell, her touch, and as he bent to indulge in what he too loved to do, that was the secret, you had to love it to be that good, he was thinking of his Jess.

She groaned loudly. His hands were on her bottom which had pushed up and out towards him, he was opening her up and stroking, licking her in places she would not have imagined, oh it was so good, she was so hot! His tongue found her clitoris and he licked gently but firmly, sucked and licked like he was enjoying every second, stroked while putting his tongue inside  sucking. Her juices were running which made it all the more hot. She was sweating breathing heavily, groaning trying not to scream out with the passion of it.

He was enjoying himself with his Jess again, feeling every dark private place and tasting, mmmm her juiciness, she was so wet, he wanted to be inside her but he was enjoying the build up. He could feel her body stiffening getting close to erupting, he took her nipples between his fingers and gently fondled them. That was it, her body arched, she cried out in her passion and he had to hold on tight.

She was arching her back in what was the best orgasm of her life. Her whole body had gone into the spasm and she could hear herself screaming, nothing she could do......

He could feel her throbbing spasms. So far he had not been touched, which suited him, he didn't need that from her, he had miss Luscious, maybe.

She had never felt this depth of ecstasy before, revelled in it's painful pleasure. She was not aware of his stroking of her neck, was not aware of his erection pressing into her, his big strong hands enclosing her neck.

He body was stiff with anticipation, he was at the point of no return and thinking of the pleasure was too much.
He started to squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, her body suddenly went stiff as she became aware of something going wrong. His erection grew harder.

She was aware, something was not right , what was it? what was happening to her?  Then as the pain of trying to breath and the bones in her neck started to break, she knew, he had got to her first.








Monday, 5 March 2012

The Excitement of She, "Coffee Break fiction"

She was excited, sitting in the garden, sun warming her face, she smiled. It was a big day, ahead was a big party with all their friends. She took in a big breath while her face was tilted upwards to the warmth of the sun & let out a satisfied sigh. Yes, it was a good day!

She sipped at her coffee & nibbled at her homemade jam on her freshly baked bread. This was the life, she was so lucky. Sitting here in the sun at 7.30am who would have thought?
Life had not been easy for her, in fact mostly it been impoverished, sad & full of rejection, till she met her latest husband.

Oh she loved this life, loved her walled garden, loved her new role. Shame life gets in the way occasionally but she can deal with that, had learnt to disguise her inpatients with people. She needed them on side, needed them to care for her, to believe in her. Well she had succeeded in that, excelled in friendship, hospitality & helping others.
They all thought she was great. Not long now, this day was going to be her greatest achievement to date & she was so looking forward to the party & being the centre of attention, all day!

She had her outfit all laid out on the bed, a gorgeous red & pink silk dress with little flowery motifs, it looked good on her, showed off her newly acquired shape. She loved looking in the mirror now, loved her reflection & the knowledge that it will just continue to get better over the next few months.

It’s amazing what a shot of happiness can do for an overweight unhappy woman. She had bought high strappy wedge heeled shoes which made her feel tall & confident & a set of delicate silver bangles that will tinkle as she moves, making her feel feminine. She has a gorgeous silver watch studded with crystals, well she has to keep up appearances after all it all goes to make her feel more of an attractive feminine woman!  

The sun was getting hotter now, she was grateful for the grapevine that gave her shade and dappled sun, very Mediterranean,  one of her joys in the morning. The sun was making her newly highlighted and coiffed hair shimmer. She loved her new look, felt younger and very attractive. It had been a very long time since she had felt attractive, let alone looked it. She thought about this and knew it was all about how she was treated, whether she was accepted or rejected. She was looking forward to today.

She reflected on how funny life was, how it could change in an instant, come to an end in a second. She takes a deep breath in, smelling the air, sighing in pleasure starts to plan her summer garden. There’s a lot to do!
Smiling to herself she runs upstairs to get ready, today she must take extra care and attention.

She was very impressed with the turn out of guests, all dressed beautifully on the warm sunny day, which was a bonus. Everyone was being very attentive to her, said she looked wonderful, making sure she had a drink and chatting with her.
It was a lovely service, a huge celebration and having lots of friends there made her day. She felt great, looked fabulous, was on top of the world in the happiness stakes.

It was great to catch up with people she hadn’t seen for a long time, spend quality time with friends, who will be “there” for her. She was excited and having a great time.
The champagne for the toast was the very best money could buy. The food was special, really delicious and fresh off the grill. A garden party is nothing without fresh grilled food.and live background entertainment, yes people would remember this day for years to come.

She was excited, having fun, enjoying a drink and was having a laugh. Not outwardly, you understand, no, inwardly though she was giggling away.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide her joy, but hide it she must, it would not bode well for her to let loose. She could wait, she must wait, till she was alone. Then she can kick off her heels and dance around the house.

She thought about that night a few months ago, when she realised the truth of the situation. Her suspicions had been proved right after years of lies and being made to feel stupid!  She found the message on his phone. He was out and had left his phone on charge when the message came through. She knew she shouldn’t look, knew it was wrong but what the heck. There in black and white was the proof she had been waiting for.

She never mentioned it, in fact he wondered at the fact she was more attentive to him, lapping up the attention but still ignoring what she needed.
She took to cooking him special meals with a little something extra. He enjoyed her cooking, always had done.
One lunch time she made him a special pasta dish, he needed feeding up before he got back up that ladder, needed his strength.
She was heart broken when he "fell" off breaking his neck. At the memory a Mona Lisa smile played across her lips.

People were starting to look at her in a quizzical way, perhaps now was a good time to cry a bit, reminisce about what a wonderful life we had together, at least look like the grieving widow!

Saturday, 3 March 2012

The Desolation of She, Short story

She waits.
On her own, lonely & depressed. Sadness envelopes her & her heart feels like it will explode.
She knows she must buck up, take hold of herself & as everyone would say “be strong”.
She can’t, she knows that, it’s a given. Life for the foreseeable future will be like this.

Some days she copes better, they are rare, but the nights are filled with self doubt & accusations of uselessness. She is aware she is a waste of space, life for her is a nothing, she a nobody. She has never made a difference, been significant or made an impact, even though she had been told she would.

She is engulfed by self doubt & feels like she could go to sleep & not awake. This would not bother her, she is alone.

Some days she sees others but instead of making her feel happy, it just makes her sadder, brings home she is alone. Social network sites are no good, full of people professing to be there for her? Stupid people! There are other women on them who also are alone, but they were all too far away to help each other & words, typed on a faceless keyboard, mean nothing.

She had learnt the hard way that people no longer care. There was no caring for others anymore, it was all lip service. Society has moved away from real friendships, cuddles & caring for others. Boy when did that happen, in the old days…. Now she sounded like her mum!

She knew she would never get over this, knew life would never be the same again! She felt betrayed & abandoned, lost & ignored.

These feelings had been part of her life years before on different occasions, from the age of two then again at ten. Thirteen was the start of three bad years & it all set her up nicely for years of betrayal, which just added to the baggage.
She knew all this, had tried to “deal” with it all, with help from a church & a common sense personality.

She was destroyed to find herself fighting the same emotions, yet again, in her life. She had thought she had come away from all that. Thought life was being kind to her at last. Thought she was loved & would never again feel so desolate. She was wrong, she was sad about that!

Long summer days living in paradise. This was where she wanted to be, was the right choice. So why did she feel so bad. Going out, photographing her environment gave her pleasure but where was the joy? Surely life should be good?

What was the alternative, to leave would more likely mean never to return. This was not an option for her, for them.

Life, what made a good life for a person whose emotions were so visible? So much so that while frequenting a dinner party she sat at the table crying, unable to stop herself, embarrassed.   No one comforted her, they just pretended not to notice. This was just one occassion where her emotions overflowed in public!

She looked forward, took the opportunity to have a good look at herself, her attitude, her care of others. There is nothing like experiencing something yourself to understand others, to see what others need.

She walked forward, felt she had learnt something, was learning still. It was positive, a way of changing, a way of living. The end was coming & she vowed to herself to make it different, to be more positive, to make it worth while & the first step was to look towards others.
The rest she felt would follow...........

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Why, Why, Why?

Why don't you see me now?
Why did you lie?
Why can't you love me now?
Why deceive & destroy?

Why don't you care anymore?
Why no respect?
Why do you ignore me now?
Why have you gone deaf?

Why am I ugly to you?
Why am I thick?
Why won't you speak to me?
Why do I feel sick?

Why is everything I say stupid to you?
Why don't you answer?
Why do you disrespect me so?
Why, why, why?
Why do you upset me ?
Why destroy my life?
Why do you mislead me now?
Why, why, why?

Why am I concerned with you?
Why do I struggle?
Why do my words not reach your ears?
Why, why, why?

Why did I ever trust you?
Why when I knew?
Why did I open to you?
Why, why, why?

Why am I so obtuse?
Why do I get so used?
Why did I ever believe in you?
Why, why, why?

Why do I cry now?
Why the angry tears?
Why have you broken my heart?
WHY, WHY, WHY?

Friday, 14 October 2011

This Time of Year

I love doing this, at this time of year,
the sun beating down, the sky blue & clear.
Warmth on my back, bird song in my ear.
I love doing this, at this time of year.

I hate doing this, at this time of year,
the snow on the ground the freeze in the air.
The chill in my back, no bird song to cheer.
I hate doing this, at this time of year.

I love doing this, at this time of year,
the colours so bright, sunglasses are here,
A song in my heart, when roses appear.
I love doing this, at this time of year.

I hate doing this at this time of year,
waking in dark with no sun to cheer, 
rain lashing down, damp heavy in air.
I hate doing this at this time of year.

What do I hate at this time of year?
The quiet or solitude, no sound to hear?
Wood fires a blazing logs crackling, miss behaving?
Dogs snoring, oven baking, bread smell pervading.
I love all this at this time of year
being a hermit, lovely snuggly cheer.
  

Lies & Deceit

When your lying in bed,
listening to things in your head
lies & deceit, is all that you'll meet.

Listen & learn, all the things that you've said
The lies that you've spread.
Karma is listening, awaiting her errand,
she hears, your mouth has spoken,
be afraid, your reward shall be great.

Your rope has hung you.
Your heart has betrayed you.
Your evil has devoured you.

When you are willing to sow seeds of deceit, of decent,
the fruit you eat will be rotten,
fowl as the vitriol you spew forth, landing where it will.
No thought of the hearts of others!

Assassinator of characters,
sorry I am, blind you are.

Silly woman, don't you know?
Love would soften you, give you peace
leave you wanting others best,
Love, would save you!


Friday, 6 May 2011

Who Do We See?

You see, a naughty child.
I see a broken toddler, abandoned, unloved & rejected for something better.
You see, an attention seeker.
I see a lonely child, wanting cuddles, hugs, love & acceptance.
You see, a troublesome teen.
I see a rejected adolescent, not understanding their place in life, not knowing where to go, what to do. needing love.
A child searching for something, safety, security, love.

You see, a stroppy person.
I see a someone fighting rejection, fighting for survival, fighting for love.
You see, an angry person.
I see a devastated person who's soul has been betrayed & broken.
You see, a person who is controlling.
I see someone who is fighting to be listened to & heard.
You see, an emotional person.
I see a someone who gives love & feels the pain of others.
Who listens & wants the same.
You see the symptoms, I see the cause.
You see, you don't know me! 

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

A Beacon For All To See

A beacon of light seen from the throne room.
There I am dressed in Purple, alight with love for you,
your precious places of treasure opened to me, to us.

Hidden for so long, oppressed & damaged,
we can only imagine.

Your peaks & valleys lovely in their graciousness,
wondrous in our sight.

 Hidden from light the darkness was upon you.
Imprisoned, held back, your beloved suffering in their plight.

Struggling towards the light, trying to hold tight, hold true.
Fed lies by the liar of all time.
Distracted, dislocated, dismembered, disemboweled,
she had you in her grip.

Some see only your sadness, but we feel your joy.

Today you stand,
proud, cloaked in gold, set high on your standard,
your beauty up for all to see

In time you will heal, for now, recoup, count your blessings.
Your lovers are increasing, your preciousness a wonder in their sight.
They behold you, exalt you.

Your beauty is limitless, dressed in the colours of Gods palette,
they adorn you.
Your music is magical bird song, the sound of angels.
You will recover & grow, heal & develop.

Bulgaria, you are holy & blessed in his sight.

"Am I a Contradiction of Self" ?

Passive, yet assertive, happy yet sad.
Deep & serious, yet flirty & outgoing.
Can you put me in a box & tie me with string, I think not.
Can you label me & judge me, you don't know me!

A many faceted jewel in a setting of pure gold,
robed in purple silk with the crown of a princess.

Can you find my treasure, will you look, dig deep, explore my depths?
Will you gain my love deep as an ocean, honest as the dawn.
Not by pillage & plunder, do not run amok!

I am a rarity, uncommon in my preciousness,
I have value & worth.
Keep me rapt, enchanted,
Help me develop & bloom.

My contradictions will inspire you.
You will find me erotic,
will desire my sensuality,
and long for my carnal knowledge.

So seek me when you find me,
seek & find BLISS